I am proud of myself

Even though there was nothing I wanted to do more than curl up in a ball and cry until I shriveled up and died, I am proud of myself for rising up and delivering my TEDx talk just 48 hours after I came home to divorce papers taped to my front door.

Since then, I’ve worked hard to choose happiness, feel my feels, and keep moving forward.

When the worst moment of my life happened, I asked everyone I knew for their help in the form of positive thoughts, prayers, and good vibes so I could get on stage to deliver my talk.

It is only because of all the people who sent me their love and strength that I was able to deliver something as daunting as a TEDx talk when I was feeling broken, lost, and utterly wrecked inside. It is only because I revealed I had a need that I was able to receive the love, support, and strength required to keep going. There’s nothing weak about asking for help. Knowing when you need to do something yourself to build strength and when to let others contribute so you can succeed takes great discernment and wisdom. Be proud of yourself for knowing the difference.

Experience has taught me that when life feels hard, we must soften or be crushed. Life’s trials can feel unrelenting, but contained within our moments of deepest pain is an opportunity. An opportunity to drop our armor and reveal ourselves in ways we never thought possible.

Dating after Divorce is one of life’s great opportunities to reveal the parts of ourselves that we’d packed away in previous relationships and to have them strengthened, celebrated, and loved. I didn’t think I could ever enjoy life as a single woman, but I’m proud to say I have made many new friends and love the freedom I feel in my new life.

Looking back, that painful moment when I had to ask for support in order to be able to keep going was the moment I proved to myself I don’t have to be doing life flawlessly to be doing it well, I don’t have to be perfect to be loved, and I don’t have to do it alone to be strong.

Proving that to myself gave me access to the power of unconditionally loving myself and life, even when things were not going well. Along with that I also received the power that comes with being able and to share myself with others in all my gloriously flawed humanity which has made dating a lot of fun.

“Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you”
-Unknown

I always wanted to write a book, and it just so happens that the most painful moment of my life not only made both softer and stronger, but it also made me an accidental author.

My book represents pain I thought I couldn’t live through. But, I healed from that pain and the book is my scar. The book is proof we can feel great pain and live on to feel great joy.

 Dear Self, I Love You! Keep Going!: 365 Inspiring Notes from My Bittersweet Year of Heartbreak and Healing is a personal and powerful memoir of sorts.

I wrote it as a reminder that even when life feels painful or hard, you are stronger, braver, and more powerful than you think, and no matter what happened or will happen you are worthy of your own love. If you’re hurting from loss life will get better. I promise. If you find yourself wondering, “how do people do this?” give the book a read. You’ll feel better and less alone.

If you’re ready to start dating after divorce, give my GROW formula a try. It’s a must have for people who aren’t used to the whole online or app based dating (especially if you have children). GROW has been featured in the media in places like AZTV and Good Morning Washington.

Divorce is deeply painful, and I still hurt from it sometimes. Maybe I always will.  But, what I know for sure is that the pain served as a starting point for an amazing future that is still unfolding for me and that I am so proud of the exquisitely flawed human being I have become.

Here’s something I wrote when I was going through the darkness and it helps remind me to head towards the light. I thought this might help remind you, too.

Do you have questions for me? I hope we’ll connect soon. I’d love to hear from you!

All the love,

Danielle

 

I am a social person