Posts tagged Inspiration

Why Won’t We Forgive Ourselves?

The short answer to why we won’t forgive ourselves is, we’re afraid.

Afraid we don’t have the right, afraid it might incur the wrath of the people who taught us about right and wrong, afraid it means we’re not sorry, afraid if we forgive ourselves the evil within might finally gain control and we’ll hurt someone we love.

It is okay to forgive ourselves for our mistakes. We absolutely have this right.

We’re grownups now, remember? We make the rules (and the consequences). Take responsibility for how you think and feel about yourself.

Also, have you ever considered that not having forgiven yourself could be what is keeping someone from forgiving you? If you can’t forgive yourself, why should they?

If someone taught you doing something wrong meant you’d never be forgiven, I am so sorry. I really, really am.

It must have been terrible growing up believing any wrong move would mean a lifelong sentence of shame and isolation. That kind of burden must have forced you to contort yourself in innumerable ways as you tried and tried to do what was right.

Please know there is nothing you could have done differently to get it right. Not because you are bad, but because getting it right simply wasn’t possible. The game was rigged, the deck was stacked, the dice were loaded. There was no way to win. I know you know this on some level. Forgive yourself for trying, and for failing.

Forgiving ourselves does not mean we are not sorry.

It means we’ve learned from our mistakes and have allowed the pain of them to change our heart and mind. Let’s feel regret or remorse, apologize if we can, and then let the knowledge we did wrong guide us to do what is right the next time.

If we forgive ourselves the evil inside will not win.  It feels like it will, but it won’t. You will not become a bad person when you let yourself off the hook. I promise you that.

Not forgiving ourselves is not keeping anyone safe. It is keeping us feeling isolated and from loving each other as we constantly change, learn, and grow. Sure there are people like Narcissists who will never change but don’t forget Narcissism is a mental health issue, and everyone deserves compassion.

We all do bad things sometimes. Doing something bad doesn’t mean we are bad. Bad is something we did, it is not something we are. (Here’s a post on something bad I did that I had to forgive myself for)

I’m still making mistakes (probably some grammatical or spelling ones here), but hey, we’re human and we’re both doing the best we can, right? Let’s be proud of ourselves for trying, for recognizing our mistakes, and for letting them change us so we can do better next time.

Love,

Celebrating Groundhog Day!

Happy Groundhog Day!

Okay, so I guess we don’t actually “celebrate” Groundhog Day, but in the spirit of the movie Groundhog Day, I thought I’d be cheeky and review some things we’ve talked about before that bear repeating.

First, be nice to yourself. It’s so easy to forget this in the hustle and bustle of the day, but seriously, be nice not just to others, but to yourself, too. The rest of us need and love you, and we don’t want you to feel unhappy (yes, I’m talking specifically to you).

Second, look at the bright side. This isn’t always easy in the moment, but how many times have you looked back on a time you felt miserable and realized you wouldn’t be where you are today without having been through that seemingly awful thing (a broken heart, a lost job, an unwanted move?). Think about how future you will benefit from what you are experiencing now.

Third, (one more after this and I’ll stop, I promise), but third, disrupt your own life once in awhile by making the decision to change things up. It’s easy to want things to stay the same, but really, it’s in doing things differently and having new experiences that we live a FULL life.

In fact, the more comfortable you get with initiating change the more comfortable you will be with navigating the inevitable changes in life. This is why I’m always trying new things and encouraging you to do the same.

Finally, never let disappointment in others make you bitter. Okay, maybe I haven’t exactly said this one before, but I hope that you get my drift when I encourage you to keep moving forward and try to be loving, even when people act like jerks. Don’t let what other people do shape who you are.

When in doubt, try this tactic I use on myself. The next time you get upset about something someone did just remind yourself, “that person is not ACTUALLY a jerk…they just play one on TV.” This works well for me!

You were born loving, kind, and generous and I hope you’ll stay that way, but I also understand that life can be a rough ride. If you think you’d be happier if you understood more fully how to love yourself and how to love others more, too, I hope you’ll join me for Love U, Love University.

February is the month of love, it’s also my birthday (I was born February 14th!)! If you act fast, I’m giving the gift of Love U for 30 days FREE. You’ll find everything you need at Love U to become at least 10% more loving by the end of the month. Don’t you think becoming even just 10% more loving this year would make a difference?

Happy Groundhog Day and let me know if you need anything from me. My inbox is always open.

All the love,

D 🙂

P.S. If you want more inspiration or to chat with me, I host a LIVE daily show called The Danielle Daily. You can tune in here weekdays at 3:00 pm ET/ 12:00 pm PT to ask me questions or just soak up the good vibes. If you do pop in, be sure say hello in the comments. I don’t know who is watching unless you comment, so you can join me incognito if that’s your style. See you there sometime.

My Secret Trick to Staying Inspired

Who doesn’t love the natural high that comes with feeling inspired, right? But how to maintain it…that’s always the rub. That feeling of inspiration seems to fade away faster than Frosty in a greenhouse.

It’s natural for the feeling of inspiration to wax and wane, but it’s easier than you think to set yourself up to feel inspired on a regular basis. I have a whole arsenal of tricks up my sleeves that I use each day to keep myself feeling inspired. I’ll share one of my favorites with you here because I think it is one you can use right now, no matter where you are reading this.

Learn something new.

I don’t care what it is, Google a new keyboard shortcut, learn a new way to drive to the store, learn a new way to make toast, learn a new dance step on YouTube, learn a new word on Thesaurus.com, etc.

There’s nothing like learning something new to remind yourself of all the amazing opportunities there are to experience life in new and interesting ways. Give learning something new a try! (I’ll wait why you Google)

Have you ever wished you could learn to become more loving? If so, I invite you to pop over and check out my just opened Love University.

February is the month of love, it is also my birthday (I was born February 14th)! Love is in the air this month, so If you have ever wished to learn to become more loving towards yourself or others, I really hope you will join me for Love University. (If you act fast you can get in for 30 days FREE)

At Love U you’ll become more loving by learning:

  • How to Fall in Love with yourself
  • How to stay with yourself (even when people compare you to others)
  • How to offer love to hostile people
  • How to love friends and family members  (even when they disappoint you with their beliefs or say hateful things)
  • How to decide if it’s for the best to end a relationship (and how to do it gracefully)

I know there is a lot of hatefulness going on in the world right now, and it seems amplified through social media channels such as Facebook…SO many people expressing things that make it really hard for us to love. I’m going to show you how to love anyway and it is going to feel so inspiring, empowering, and downright awesome.

Pop on over and check out my Love University. Use coupon code LOVE at checkout this month, and join me for Love University absolutely free for 30 days.

See you at Love U!

All the love,

Danielle 🙂

P.S. If you want more inspiration or to chat with me, I host a LIVE daily show called The Danielle Daily. You can tune in here weekdays at 3:00 pm ET/ 12:00 pm PT to ask me questions or just soak up the good vibes. If you do pop in, be sure say hello in the comments. I don’t know who is watching unless you comment, so you can come incognito if that’s your style. See you there sometime.

5 Best Practices for Staying Focused

Some of the best practices I’ve found for staying focused actually involve giving yourself a break from focusing and taking some time to do something that feels relaxing or simply gives your pleasure.

Things like:

  • Meditation
  • Going for a walk
  • Stretching
  • Calling a friend or
  • Savoring a cup of tea

If you find yourself having a difficult time staying focused, maybe it’s time to take a break and refresh before getting back after it?

How about spending between 5 and 30 minutes today giving one of these practices a try?

If you’ve been thinking about trying meditation, I highly recommend my friend Chel Hamilton’s podcast called Meditation Minis which is designed for crazy busy people like us. Chel has a great voice and she’s also just an awesome person so you should definitely check her out.

That’s all for today. I’ll be back again tomorrow with some of my personal secrets to keeping myself inspired. Until then…

All the Love,

D 🙂

P.S. If you want more inspiration or to chat with me, I host a LIVE daily show called The Danielle Daily. You can tune in here weekdays at 3:00 pm ET/ 12:00 pm PT to ask me questions or just soak up the good vibes. If you do pop in, be sure say hello in the comments. I don’t know who is watching unless you comment, so you can come incognito if that’s your style. See you there sometime.

3 Resources That Are Perfect For Keeping You Inspired

Happy Monday!

I woke up to a light coating of snow in my neck of the woods this morning so I’m typing this email to you from under the cozy covers to keep warm.

I know you have a full week ahead of you, so today I thought I’d provide you with a short list of resources that are perfect for keeping you inspired.

The first two resources I’m recommending below are (admittedly) dated. The third is more modern, I promise!

I say these first two resources are dated, not because they have become irrelevant, but because I read these books between 5 and 10 years ago.

However, each was instrumental in helping me to think more positive thoughts, make better decisions, and take more positive actions. I still teach the methods I learned from these books today, so it felt to me like they were still worth sharing in case they hadn’t made it onto your radar yet.

Sometimes oldies are goodies, right?

The first book I’m recommending to keep you inspired is, You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay.

This book has been popular for decades, and you may already have a copy, but if not, it contains great information about how our thoughts impact our bodies along with dozens of specific affirmations you can use anytime you need them.

The second book I’m recommending is A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted by Will Bowen.

This book contains a 21-day challenge that was really REALLY difficult and uncomfortable for me but completing it helped me become conscious of how I think and speak and make changes to both. I can’t recommend taking the Complaint-Free challenge highly enough!

For today’s final recommendation I proudly offer my own book, Dear Self, I Love You! Keep Going!: 365 Inspiring Notes from My Bittersweet Year of Heartbreak and Healing.

This nearly 400-page book contains an ENTIRE YEAR’S worth of inspiring notes that (with the free Kindle app) you can download onto your phone or tablet so you’ll have inspiration at your fingertips no matter where you are (I’m told the notes also make beautiful screensavers and wallpaper).

One reviewer called  Dear Self, “One of the best inspirational books out there. Another said, If you want words to inspire you, motivate you, make you smile and feel like you are enough, grab yourself a copy. I couldn’t put it down! Thank you for sharing your beautiful words with the world.”

That’s all for today. I hope you find one (or all) of these books helpful for keeping you inspired. If you grab a copy of my book be sure to let me know what you loved about it by leaving a rating and review on Amazon.

I’ll be back tomorrow with a post on the 5 Best Practices for Staying Focused, so look for my email then.

All the love,

D 🙂

P.S. If you want more inspiration or to chat with me, I host a LIVE daily show called The Danielle Daily. You can tune in here weekdays at 3:00 pm ET/ 12:00 pm PT to ask me questions or just soak up the good vibes. If you do pop in, be sure say hello in the comments. I don’t know who is watching unless you comment, so you can come incognito if you’d prefer. See you there sometime!

P.P.S. I LOVE writing a P.S. because it reminds me of passing notes with friends back in grade school!  🙂

The Science Behind Staying Inspired

I’ll admit that sometimes I like to see if there is research to back up my beliefs about something and sometimes I deliberately ignore what “experts” might have to say because I am certain the usual rules don’t apply to me. Do you do that too?

In my experience, there are two keys to staying inspired.

The first is to focus my attention on the things, people, and experiences that cause me to feel good as often as possible.

The second is remove my focus from the things, people, and experiences that cause me to feel bad whenever I have that option.

I don’t always have the option to remove my focus from what feels bad (anyone else working on taxes right now?), but when I do, I take it.

This way of approaching life has not always made me popular, but it has been a reliable way to keep myself happy and feeling positive and inspired by life.

Research has shown that some of the best ways to stay inspired are to:

  • Exercise
  • Read
  • Meditate
  • Play games
  • Zone out
  • Do something creative

It seems to me, that the main reason so many of us feel uninspired by life is because we spend more time focused on what makes us feel bad than we do on what makes us feel good. A simple (I didn’t say easy) change in focus would lead to spending more time feeling positive, happy, and free.

This makes complete sense to me, but hey, I could be wrong and I’d love to hear your thoughts.

This weekend, practice spending more time focusing on what feels good and when you have the option to remove your focus from what feels bad, take it. Let me know how you did and how it felt.

Have a wonderful weekend and I’ll be back on Monday with some resources to help you stay inspired.

All the Love,

The Ineffective Truth

Nothing frustrates me more than feeling like my actions are ineffective and I’m spinning my wheels.

All that energy put into something, and yet, the result is no change in the status quo. Grrrrr!

Sometimes this happens because I don’t know what I’m not “getting.” If someone would just PLEASE tell me what to do and in what order I. Would. Do. It. IMMEDIATELY.

We’re happy to do the right activities in the right order, but sometimes we simply don’t know what they are, right?

But sometimes (okay, most of the time) it only seems like no change is happening and our efforts feel ineffective because we’re too focused on the outcome to see the micro-accomplishments and changes that are happening as we move closer and closer to accomplishing our goals.

I remember one hot August afternoon last year when I almost gave up writing my 365 Notes to Self book. At that point, I only had about 40 entries left to make to complete it. Quitting would have been crazy, right? Inside it felt like I’d been working on it for SO LONG (and still had so far to go), but the reality was, I was nearly done.

The only reason I didn’t give up was because my Mom encouraged me to Keep Going! I’m so glad I did because my book is doing exactly what I hoped it would do: inspiring people around the world by filling them with strength, hope, faith, and infusing them with the certainty that they are enough.

I know making your way towards an achievement can feel like a long hard road, really I DO, but keep going. Your actions are not ineffective (even though it can feel like it), and you’ve likely already put in the bulk of the effort and the outcome will make a difference for you and countless others.

Today I’m here to remind you that if you are tired rest, but don’t quit. Okay?

Remember what that feeling of accomplishment feels like? Take a rest and then use that feeling to DRIVE YOU ON.

You are capable of anything. (I know you know that I’m just reminding you in case you temporarily forgot)

I’ll be back with more reminders and encouragement tomorrow. Look for my email around this same time.

All the love,

 

 

P.S. If you want more inspiration or to chat with me, I host a LIVE daily show called The Danielle Daily. You can tune in here weekdays at 3:00 pm ET/ 12:00 pm PT to ask me questions or just soak up the good vibes. If you do pop in, be sure say hello in the comments. I don’t know who is watching unless you comment. See you there sometime!

The Dangers of Trying to Do ALL OF THE THINGS

Are you still feeling stoked after spending some time yesterday tapping into the feeling of what you’ve already achieved, and looking ahead to what you want to challenge yourself to next?

Great! Let’s keep that momentum going, but first, let’s talk about the dangers of trying to do ALL OF THE THINGS at once.

We all know the pattern, right?

This time, let’s outsmart our overly ambitious inclinations by choosing just ONE OF THE THINGS we want to challenge ourselves to achieve and put a (realistic) timeline on completing it.

If I’d set a goal to do ALL 20 yoga practices in one day (or even one week) I’d probably have worn myself out and failed (and maybe even risked injuring myself in the process).

So, let’s choose one thing we’re excited to accomplish, put a timeline on it that feels like a challenge but still doable (maybe even include taking a break?), and start working towards achieving that goal. Deal?

Remember, you want to measure success by your PROGRESS.

You DO NOT want to end up mainlining peanut butter cups at the end of the day because you didn’t accomplish the whole shebang. Right? Right.

Ok, go forth and make progress!

I’ll be back tomorrow with more inspiration and ideas to help you nail even your most ambitious challenges and goals. Look for my email tomorrow afternoon.

P.S. If you want more inspiration or to chat with me, I host a LIVE daily show called The Danielle Daily. You can tune in here weekdays at 3:00 pm ET/ 12:00 pm PT to ask me questions or just soak up the good vibes. If you do pop in, be sure say hello in the comments. I don’t know who is watching unless you comment. See you there sometime!

All the love,

Your goals miss you, let’s plan a reunion!

Back on January 3, I challenged myself to create a new PR (personal record) in my yoga practice, which meant hitting my yoga mat A LOT.

20 times in just 11 days, to be exact.

It was definitely a stretch for me to squeeze practicing twice daily (with 1 scheduled day off in the middle of the challenge) into my busy life, but it was also a lot of fun to test myself and see if I could really do it.

As you can imagine, the feeling when I accomplished my goal was like having lit a huge fire (in the best possible way!). Plus, I got an added boost when I found out from the studio manager that my personal challenge had provided inspiration to many of the teachers and students who had watched me working towards my goal.

My personal challenge had provided inspiration for others. How awesome is that, right?

Don’t you get excited when you see or read about other people setting a goal or taking on a personal challenge and kicking butt at it?

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Is challenging yourself right up your alley?

I thought it would be fun if we spent the next 7 days or so celebrating what we’ve already achieved, and using that feeling of accomplishment to inspire and drive us to challenge ourselves to accomplish even more.

If you’re anything like me, you LOOOVE the feeling that comes along with NAILING a personal challenge. I’ve decided we’re going to use that feeling to spur us on to accomplish EVEN MORE.

But before we do, stop right now and take 5 minutes to write down something you have already achieved.

We’ll be using that achievement (and the positive feelings that go with it) to drive us towards achieving even more.

Did you write something down? Good.

Now, what are you going to challenge yourself to next? Harness the good feelings you received from what you have already accomplished (you did write that down, didn’t you?) and use them to drive you on towards your next goal or goals.

Also, let me know what you’re working towards so I can celebrate and feel the excitement along with you!

I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon to add more fuel to the fire, so look for my email then.

All the love,

d-heart

So INFAMOUS I was BANNED

WOW. You are not going to believe this! Yesterday my YouTube channel was shut down due to

“Multiple or severe violations of YouTube’s policy against spam, deceptive practices, and misleading content or other Terms of Service violations.”

OUCH.

Apparently, The Danielle Daily Show had practically committed a criminal offense!

The thing is, (as far as I could tell) I hadn’t committed any of the above violations (and if I had, certainly not in multiples!).

When I let friends on Facebook know what had happened, some reported similar experiences with their videos being suddenly removed (and all of their content and subscribers lost).

Fortunately, I was able to contact customer service, where The Powers That Be quickly restored my channel and my videos. I don’t know exactly what happened that triggered being banned in the first place, or why “They” decided to restore my channel and videos, but I am so so happy they did!

The Danielle Daily Show is your place to find something POSITIVE, FUN or INSPIRING each weekday. The LIVE broadcast happens on Facebook (email me if you want the details on how to watch LIVE) and then I upload the recording to YouTube.

If you haven’t yet checked out this tiny corner of the internet that I’ve been carving out for positive minded people like us, I thought you might want to take a look (and subscribe) before someone else decides to try and ban positivity.

So that was my big to-do yesterday. What’s new with you?

All the love,

d-heart